how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
