I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
