If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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