walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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