No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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