he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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