I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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