left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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