I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
