It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
