It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
