so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
