i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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