I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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