She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
