In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
