im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
