South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize