no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize