Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
