so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
