I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
