i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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