How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Non-Jews are for practice
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
