All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
