I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
