is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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