How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
