Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
