put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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