I want to stick my p in your. b.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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