I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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