help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
