just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize
