Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize