theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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