My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
