Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
