Sponge bath it is.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Edward fifth and chaser hands
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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