A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
