Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
