she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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