i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
