He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
