How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
