I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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