woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
