You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
