do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
