Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This is my gift to your gina
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
