I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
