We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
