I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
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I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Floor bacon is actually really good
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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