That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
