yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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