Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
