loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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