a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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