and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
