I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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