hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
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My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize