i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
