Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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