yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
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hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
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I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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