we have pet lesbian snakes
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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