1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
