Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
