Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
