fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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