Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
